When it comes to single parent dating, people opt for either one of two totally different paths. Sometimes, they are so afraid of their pasts that they resolutely and staunchly refuse to get their feet wet, or alternatively, go off on a diametrically opposite tangent and try to fill the gap in their lives by recklessly plunging into a relationship after relationship.

Looking at it from a logical viewpoint, both of the above-mentioned methods of dealing with loneliness after the loss of a spouse (either through death or divorce) are entirely wrong, but nevertheless, extremely commonplace.

The truth of the matter is that the loss of a spouse is arguably one of the single most traumatic incidents in one’s existence and this trauma is further compounded by the fact that there might be very young offspring from the failed relationship. These kids have to be bought up in a single parent household through no fault of their own. The single parent is also concerned that should he or she start dating again, just how will the little ones react? Will they like and accept the new person intruding on the time that their parent used to spend with them? Or alternately, will they start becoming bitter and in fact actively hostile towards him and her? Then there is the reaction of the prospective date towards the kids, as in will she like them or will she treat them with ‘genteel’ contempt at best?

Lastly, there is the very real issue that the hapless parent will be forced to deal with, that many single individuals tend to consider their kids to be little more than excess’ baggage and would, therefore, prefer to date other completely single people, rather than a single parent, per se.

Apart from the above, all single parents come with their own set of issues as well. So, for instance, if a man wants to date a woman who is also a single parent, they will have to take the feelings of both their respective sets of offspring into consideration. Here the issue is that will these two entirely different sets of kids will also be able to ‘gel’ with each other and be happy in each other’s’ company? This is a very tricky tightrope to take into consideration when preparing to think about single parent dating.

This is precisely why, it is so difficult for many such single parents to ‘take the proverbial plunge’ and start going out again, and so look for passion and romance.  As a matter of fact, many such individuals end up developing a case of ‘cold feet’ and so refrain from going out at all and therefore dedicate their lives to bringing up their kids. Unfortunately, by the time the children are grown up enough to leave the nest, the parents are either so set in their ways or have grown so old that it is often quite difficult for them to be able to look for and find true love all over again.

o Dealing with emotions resulting from past experiences

Furthermore, the detritus of an unsuccessful marriage more often than not also leave their self-esteem severely wounded, then there is the widespread guilt over making their kids victims of decisions that had not worked out in the past. After a child or children, as the case may be, end up losing their mom or dad, it is bad enough for them to cope as it is. But to bring them someone as a ‘replacement’ for their original biological parent who may also proceed to abandon them, can wreak havoc on a child’s fragile consciousness, what to talk of it doing the same for his or her parent as well.

However, all hope should never be lost since many people are able to overcome their inherent issues and subsequently find other, better partners for themselves. It is just a relatively simple matter of finding that ‘just right’ person for you. Remember, we have all been created in pairs and as such, sooner or later you will find the person which God has meant for you to find. There are certain checks and balances that you have to adhere to, once you find someone to date and be happy with. Let us take a look at a few things to consider before we embark on another great personal adventure:

o Making a good impression should not supersede everything else

While a ‘good impression is often a lasting one’ but it should not override your concerns with regard to the direction the relationship will take. You will have to check that your date’s words are consistent with her actions.  For instance, if she says that she really like kids, and yet cringes visibly in their presence for no apparent reason, you should take heed of her actions and see how she will fit in with your family, especially if you are planning a more of a long-term commitment.

o Always be well grounded when taking momentous decisions

This is also of extreme importance when it comes to dating. You look at her and little pinwheels start turning into your head. That means it’s not love but rather your physical urges and hormones coming into play. While there is nothing wrong with such feelings, but nevertheless once you give into the urges, you might end up being in a relationship with someone who may not be the right fit in terms of familial responsibilities. This is why you should take your time and get to know her really better before you come to any decisions with regard to a longer-term commitment.

o Conclusion

In the light of the above we can see that once you have become a parent, you have certain responsibilities towards your offspring and you have to prioritize them in every way. Sometimes, this means that your own love life has to take the proverbial back seat. But if that is the case and you have grown old with your kids and are now all set to enter the world of single parent dating. Then it is prudent to find like-minded people. We, at Tommy’s Team aim to bring many people together for charitable work, for the benefit of society, at large. By working with us, not only will you be able to help those less privileged than you, but also make great friendships as well.