A great sage once stated that “what does not kill you only makes you stronger. “But then, it is doubtful that he was a single dad. Otherwise, he would have known that it can only happen if we only were to apply the right tools to all the daily challenges we face and thereby learn exactly how to overcome the same.

Some of the issues and problems that single dads have to face can be overcome with relative ease, while many others require a lot of hard work and continuous self-improvement before any significant breakthrough is achieved at all.  Let us take a quick look at some of the challenges that are particular only to the single dads amongst us.

o Single Parenting Is Not Really Very Easy

Unlike sharks and spiders, we humans have been created to ensure that parenting is and will almost certainly remain a two person system (irrespective of what the nay sayers like to say and believe). This is precisely why, once a single parent has been effectively removed from the equation (whatever the causes may be) then the full burden of sharing this awesome responsibility rests entirely on the other, surviving parent.

Yes, juggling your work schedule and your career with the incessant demands of the little ones is not going to be easy, but there are ways to get around the problem without compromising on the quality of your parenting or the level of output you produce in your work life. Here, it does not matter whether you have shared custody or are the sole parent of your kid(s).

It is still imperative that you start surrounding yourself as well as your young ones with other healthy adults so as to be able to fill in the gaps as and when required. However, you need to be extra careful with respect to allowing your kids out with adults, who are chipping in with transportation and pick and drop favors.

o The Wounds Of The Fathers

For better or for worse, ever since our early childhood, it has been our fathers who have had a really major impact on the various ways that we tend to view ourselves and quite possibly the way we also parent our own kids too. We consciously and sub consciously end up keeping those scars with us and sometimes even pass on the resentment to our own children. This holds particularly true for single parents’ households run by dads alone.

If a father did not give love and attention to his boy, then it is doubly incumbent on the latter to make sure that the same does not happen to ‘his’ kids in his turn. Perhaps the father was not able to give his very best because he was always working all the time or maybe he did not know how to express the oft intense emotions that he used to feel. But the scars of his neglect can easily seep through into the relationships that you may have with your own kids.

Such ‘emotional road blocks’ must be dealt with on a red priority basis, lest they end up spoiling your relationship with your children aswell.

o Adjusting To Their Growth Spurts

Every now and then, it so happens that children grow up a lot sooner than we had hitherto expected them to do so. The well-meaning single father, may continue to believe that his kids require the same level of protection and care that they used to need when they were mere toddlers.While his almost grown teenagers on the other hand may well end up chaffing under all the layers of restraint.

Being protective is all well and good, but at the same time all due care should be shown to them that they are being taking to be the young adults that they really are. While molly coddling your kids may have its advantages, but after the children reach a certain age, they will consider it only as a yoke of oppression. You have to balance your natural safety and security related concerns with their own age related issues and problems as well.

Here, is not for the kids to adjust to ‘your’ emotional needs but on the contrary, the other way around.  Extracurricular activities along with an increasingly active social life will also add a sense of urgency to the whole picture as such.  The single father, who is able to proactively adjust and evolve with the growth spurts of his own kids will be able to be their best friend and confidante, till long after they have grown up.

o Conclusion

In the light of the above discussion, it can easily be seen that it is quite possible for single fathers to be able to juggle their home as well as their career related responsibilities, while simultaneously taking care of their kids as well. Even though, with the passage of time, the kids’ needs for independence will lead to an almost evitable creation of a certain amount of distance between them and their dads.

We, at Tommy’s Team encourage single fathers to reach out and seek help in case they feel overwhelmed with their responsibilities. We also actively work to make the not just single parents, but the entire community around us a better place to live in and would want and like “you” to send us “your” ideas, so that we can continue our mission of helping out single parents as well as their offspring. You can join us simply by registering at http://www.tommysteam.com/.....JOIN.....SHARE.....To Help Others.....